This weekend, I had the joy of participating in a youth camp. One of the activities I led was a breakout group called “Ask a Pastor Anything.” Students had a chance to anonymously ask a pastor anything. I was the pastor.
You can file some of their questions under the, what I like to call, “Are you normal?” label. One question was one adults have asked me. Or if they didn’t ask me, they asked my wife.
“Do you ever get mad?”
Of course I do! Sometimes for dumb reasons, too. I’ve even felt how silly my anger was while I was being angry. And I’ve felt the remorse of saying things I don’t mean when I’m angry.
Oh, but wait. There’s more.
I can also be impatient, rude and obnoxious. Now, I’m not as angry or impatient as I used to be. I also like to think I’ve learned not to be as rude. I’ve seen how my attitudes can impact others. That’s come with years of praying, asking God to soften my heart and make me more like Jesus. But I an still a little arrogant. Oops. I hadn’t mentioned that one yet.
Should I tell you about how I wonder if I even know what I’m doing as a pastor? Why do people in other churches respond more? Why won’t much of the vision I have of what church could be come to fruition where I am?
These are all my personal reminders of the clay jar I am. I don’t shy away from the struggles I have as a person. Many people have an image of perfection they impose on pastors and church leaders. That image creates impossible expectations that aren’t good for the pastor. And it reinforces the idea you have to be a perfect human being to be obedient and faithful. Neither of those things come from God.
These days, we’d go with something Yeti to protect what we have. But God has always used clay jars to share the treasure of the gospel. Not because the gospel isn’t important. It is. But through the cracks and imperfections of the clay, the life of Christ shines through.
So, don’t be ashamed of your life. Be honest. Be willing to let God remold your heart. And then let the light of Christ shine through who you are.
Stay blessed…john
